october 25, 2025 - 10:00 PM
I'm finishing my degree. I'm not dropping out. I like school. I'm going to enter the workforce. I'm going to like my job, as much as I can. I'm going to have fun along the way.
But I'd love to make movies. And I'm not going to give up on that. It might be a hobby. It might stay a hobby all my life, but that's enough. I don't need to break in, though it'd be pretty awesome if I did. Really, I just need to create. I can't stop, I'm not happy when I don't. Well that's not true, but it kinda is. I can't go to bed satisfied without that bit of creating, having placed a brick for some structure I may never see the end of. But I hope I do. To see a project of scale, something like a movie, from beginning to end. I think I could die happy once I've done that. Hopefully that's not it, I'd love to keep making, but you get the idea.
It's interesting. How much I'm growing to love writing. For a little while, I thought "maybe I'm not a writer." But I am. The same way I'm an artist because I make shitty pictures in photoshop. I dunno what it is that makes someone an artist, but I dunno what to call myself if not that. It seems silly. Almost like it's too early to say that. If I fail, if I never make anything of worth, am I not an artist? Am I nothing? I think not. I refuse to put out anything I'm not satisfied with. I think maybe that's the key. To have vision enough to know when you're not happy with your own work. If anything, I have that.
I hope that's all I need.