october 10, 2025 - 11:51 PM
I've been so extremely busy recently. Just constant assignments and new responsibilities. Haven't felt like writing very much until today, now that I'm on break. Today was kinda bad. Just felt off the whole day, even if I was able to do a lot of things of my own volition. Now that the day is done though, I feel hopeful for tomorrow.
That's good, right? A new chance to be better. Ideally.
It's good to reflect like this I guess. I think I'm gonna try and start going to therapy, something's gotta change. Feels like no matter how much I accomplish it doesn't really mean anything. I'm finally doing so much I've wanted for a while, but it feels like there's always more to do before I'm satisfied. It can't be healthy.
I told my mom I don't know what's gonna happen if I can't get an internship soon. She asked why I talk about it like I'm gonna die. I guess it's kinda the same, the impending doom of uncertainty vs. the impending doom of certain death.
Recently I've been thinking about how I don't really know what this page is. I don't think anyone reads this, so what's the point of even having it online? I guess it's a little thrilling, the thought of this being seen. I hope someone enjoys the glimpses of my brain that they get through the pixels on their screen. It's a little less pink and fleshy on here.
I sometimes wonder if there's things I shouldn't say on here. Like if I'll be judged. I think I've made mostly good choices so far. Especially in this blog format, its so much more personal than the other things I make. It's difficult not to be so personal. I want to be seen.
Been listening to Car Seat Headrest recently.